Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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