if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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