I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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