Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
