i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Farmville is her only friend.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
