I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
