Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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