I heard we made out
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
