How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
