I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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