its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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