Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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