i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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