Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
COCAINE IS GR8
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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