the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
