i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
