After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well you can't waste a boner
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
