My nipple is on Facebook.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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