I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
