Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to wash the frat house off of me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
