i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
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