i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
