she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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