Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
