I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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