ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
