That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
