A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
