I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
