2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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