were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't think brook has ever known best
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
