Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
