State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize