gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
