i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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