Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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