i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
