Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
