She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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