He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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