Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
