nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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