Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
