Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
