Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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