you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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