If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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