If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
