I can tuck mytits in my pants
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
