Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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