I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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