he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
