Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
