Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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