I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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