my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
