thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
