Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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