woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
