Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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