I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
