I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize