There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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