i don't like sucking hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
