Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
