Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
