I need help removing her.
Jerry, you need to find god
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
