I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize