Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
