Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
