Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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