Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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