I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
