why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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