I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
